So Much Noise!

 Everyday I wake up to hear my salamanders cage. I walk outside my room and at one time I could possibly hear a blow dryer, the washer, the traffic behind my house, the animals playing, food cooking and a variety of other sounds. On my way to school or work, with my windows down, I hear cars and my music and the massive amount of wind flooding my car. Every where we go there seems to be white noise that we don't give a second thought about. One thing I wonder though, do you hear the silence?

 When I'm walking to class yeah there can be quite a bit of noise, but I don't focus on that. I focus on the silence. I focus on the stillness that exists among all the noise and you can't imagine the impact it makes. When you are stopped at an intersection and there is that moment in between the the yellow light turning red, and then the other lights turning green, do you ever pay attention to the silence in that moment? Although it may only be a second of your time, it could feel a whole lot longer.

 Finding that silence or stillness can have a lasting impression on the rest of your day. The day itself seems more calm, more tranquil, less worrisome. Many people complain about all the electronic devices we have these days and how much noise there is wherever you go, but the quiet is still there and ever-present you just have to find it.


~Jordy

My journey to San Francisco

In the beginning of May of this year, I was going through one of the greatest struggles of my life. I had recently gone through a break up that nearly destroyed me, I lost a good amount of my identity and anger was coursing through every vein in my body. I wanted to explode. I was so out of touch with myself that I didn't know how to even deal with being alone. I was trying to find myself and failing. I almost jumped into the military but two weeks before I was going to sign my military contract I had an accident and dislocated my hip and a section of my spine. I was a mess. My sister has been living in San Francisco for 5 years now and had been pushing me to move up here. Not only would we be closer to each other, but the opportunities here are so much greater than where I was. In a week I decided San Francisco was the place for me. I moved in with my sister on May 12th under the pretense that I was going to be in my own place by June 1st. An easy task, however, I had barely any money in my pocket and I was completely unfamiliar with the city. I didn't have a car, no jobs lined up, nothing. The only people I had for any type of help was my mom, her boyfriend and my sister. I decided this was my last real chance to do something I wanted, something I desperately needed. I threw myself into the city. I was going to eat San Francisco alive and become everything I knew I could be. Immediately, I had people voicing their discomfort with my move. It seemed only my family had faith in me. Failure is never an option for me but I was already thinking that myself, but to hear that voiced consistently  was hard to bare. Within a week of being in the city, I had a job, after two weeks, I had two jobs. Then I found my place. It was perfect. 10 blocks from my sister, right next to Golden Gate Park. I have always lacked confidence when it came to public transportation, the smell, the feeling of being disoriented and lost was something I had to battle every time I got on the bus. But now, it was easy. Too easy, actually. Everything has come so easily to me since I've been here. I moved into my own place on June 1st and have managed both jobs. I have worked my ass off, I have thrown myself at this city, and she has welcomed me with open arms. For the first time in my life I feel as if I belong to something so much greater than myself. I am truly happy and I have discovered so much more of myself by doing this. The inner workings of my mind, the test of my heart and mind have amazed me. I possess such a great amount of strength and love and I see that now. I wanted to share this story with you because you always need to remember that nothing is permanent. If you're unhappy, change it. Change where you are, change who you are, you have the ability to become exactly who you want to be. So, I encourage you to do what you want to do. We have one shot at this life and any time spent being alone, depressed or unhappy isn't right. Find your happiness in yourself, test yourself and learn to love who you truly are. Good luck on your path, if this story is able to help one person, it's been worth it. I wish all of you the best.



~Ace

Ego/Heart

This article is for those that are a little more advanced in the practice of meditation/self awareness. I am deciphering my personal differences between the ego/mind and the heart/spirit. A lot of people have a difficult time figuring out if they even believe in the ego, but the fact that your heart and spirit exist are living proof that there is an ego. It's like discovering heaven. If there's a heaven, then there is most certainly a hell. That analogy applies to the ego very well. Your ego is the root of your fear, anger, hatred and all around "darkness". Your heart is the root of love, compassion, kindness and all around "light". Both are crucial to your well being, it's finding the balance in them that is difficult. A meditation I practice is sitting very still in a silent room in a relaxed position without music. I will recount strong emotions that I have felt from past experiences and allow myself to view the situations from outside of my body. For example, when I was in high school I was mildly overweight, unhappy, ignorant and very angry. To remember that part of my life brings compassion for who I've become, love for the change I was able to make in myself, and appreciation for possessing the ability to change. I call this my heart/spirit. I also feel a lot of regret for not making a change sooner, anger for being so rude to my family and friends constantly, and fear because I still have a hard time fighting my demons. I recognize this as my ego. I notice that when I do these meditations I can feel where the emotions come from. When I think about the compassion I've felt, I feel that in my chest. When I think about the anger I've felt, I feel that in my mind. Memories serve as great lessons. They help you recognize the obstacles you have overcome, the fights you've lost and what you have done in your life. They also serve as a personal hell for each of us. If you're unable to control your thoughts, as a lot of us are, your mind can play so many tricks on you that it becomes maddening. The key to life is balance. If you're able to balance everything in your life I can guarantee your happiness. This is why discovering your ego and heart are so important. You can literally choose happiness by living in your heart/spirit. The ego wants you to focus completely inward. It craves attention because it is constantly looking for validation and tells you that it's what you want. It's the part of you that stares into the mirror and points out every flaw you have. The ego is a black hole of despair and the worst part is that it will never stop unless you force yourself to ignore it. The only way to deal with the ego is to completely ignore it. You can't kill that part of your body and it won't disappear because you ask it to nicely. It's a battle everyday until your ego finally understands that you will no longer play it's games. The benefit to shutting out your ego is that you will immediately gain confidence, your ability to love will increase and you will show more compassion and kindness to others. Which is what we desperately need in this world. An old Buddhist saying is, "if you want to be happy, practice compassion. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion." The only way to truly express compassion is through your heart. So to wrap up this article, your ego is the root of your fear and anger. Your heart is the true way to happiness, joy and love. If you want to take steps to understanding your ego, pay closer attention to what is going on inside your own body. Focus your attention on what you want to change about yourself, things you wish you did differently, and solve it. If you ever need help, Jordy and I are here. Thank you for reading and I hope all of you the best on your spiritual journey.

~Ace

Getting Caught Up

So the other night I kind of had an epiphany, or what some of you might call a breakdown. I was sitting down on my bed when all of a sudden it was as if time stopped and everything-all of my thoughts and all my actions- finally caught up to me. I know this is lame and I know I’m a guy and everything but I couldn’t help but cry.

In the moment I realized how poorly I treat some people. And not just random people, but the ones I love: family, close friends, my dog, my salamander etc. It’s funny because when I was actually COMMITTING those thoughts and actions, I didn’t think much of it other than a mental pause that lasted no more than a second.

When all of these thoughts and actions caught up to me though, it hurt. It hurt me because I knew it hurt them. I try to be a good person, but I’m just not. I don’t know if it’s the way I was raised, or if it’s part of the culture that’s engrained in me, but the only person I can blame is myself. That mental pause, I’m guessing, was my moral conscious warning me that I don’t agree with my actions.

Lately it has been hard for me to distinguish my own values. Some days I’ll be doing something and I believe one thing, and the next day something happens that makes me believe the opposite. For instance…There are days when I wake up and look at the sky or a crowded intersection and I see how amazing and special being alive truly is. Then, all of a sudden, the next day I wake up and I realize we are just here as part of some mere coincidence; we just happen to be on a planet with suitable living conditions for life. Now that’s just one example.

I think the reason I wanted to write this down was because I know there is hope for me and for others. I feel like I can’t be the only one to experience these feelings and these moments where we catch up with ourselves and free ourselves of our own wrong-doing. It has been known that communication is a fundamental necessity for life, for building communities and to share ideas. Yet, every day we hit barriers like these that keep us from reaching our true potentials; to be open and honest without a hint of doubt or insecurity.

In the end, It is up to you and me to make decisions that not only better ourselves, but others and to feel good about our thoughts and actions. Live in the moment and feel free to voice your opinion because it DOES matter. If you have every looked up to someone or have read quotes and have seen the power thoughts have, then you know how important yours are as well.


Jordy

The Beginning Part 1 ~ Ace ~

This blog was created by Adam and Jordy. Together we have sought knowledge, enlightenment, truth and meaning. We have created this blog to share our experiences and thoughts. We welcome discussion and other individual stories comparable to our goal. By creating this blog we hope to start a metaphysical shift in the way we view sharing knowledge. We wish to help, and encourage others to seek their own answers. If you have guts, step forward because this here, is the beginning. From here on out we will share our personal truths, our findings, and our paths to a higher purpose and meaning.